Episode 54: How to Overcome the #1 Barrier to Reaching Your Goals.

The New Year is a great time to make changes to your approach to achieving your goals. Why not get a bit of help in the process?
 
As an Expert in treatment planning and goal planning, We have put together a 3 part series for you to move beyond the barriers, shift your thoughts and take action toward your dreams.

In this episode we dive in, in a very short chat about The #1 Barrier getting in your way, and what to do instead. 

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device and post it to your Instagram Stories and tag us, @pamgodboiscoaching, or shoot me a DM if you want to chat more about today’s topic. 

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The best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is effectively regulate your nervous system. And a great place to start >> to wire the brain for gratitude. Research tells us that gratitude increases happiness and a peaceful mindset. Make the shift and watch how things in your life start to change. Sign up today! www.pamgodbois.com/gratitude

Transcript

0:01

Welcome back to the out of your mind podcast. As we roll into the final week of 2022. I really wanted to offer you. Some insight and some practices that you could utilize so that you can nail your dreams. Achieve your goals and feel good about it in 2023. Which means over the next three days. I'll be releasing mini podcast episodes, that look at the components that you need to practice. In order to get there. So today, We start. With the number one barrier. That gets in the way of you achieving your dreams now. I have heard from many of you that you are not setting new year's resolutions and 2023. And I applaud you because new year's resolutions in and of themselves. Have developed such a negative connotation for most of us now. As a mental health provider for 25 years, I have written a ridiculous amount of treatment plans. And help people set goals and put together plans to achieve those goals. We've written objectives and the steps and the processes and the practices and the timelines and all of that stuff. And new year's resolutions don't possess any of that. We have not been taught how to set an intention or resolution to develop, resolve. To achieve this new thing. Or to retrieve something that we have had a whole dev in the past. And instead it's kind of become the thing that you set and fail at every year. Over and over and over again for most of us. Now, if you're somebody who sets big goals and achieves those goals, you might be saying, Pam, I don't have that problem with resolutions. And that's because you have a foundation, a structure on how to get there. So, what I want to talk about today is the barrier that gets in the way for most of us. And that is. Attachment to how to get there. So let's just say, for example, that your goal is to lose 20 pounds. Now you might think. Going to the gym every day. Is going to help you lose 20 pounds. That may or may not be the case for you. I'm not talking about what that looks like at this point. What I want you to recognize this. That just because you go to the gym for every day for two weeks. If you take 20 pounds and you divide that, say you've decided you want to lose that 20 pounds in two months realistic or not. Right. And so you go to the gym every day for two weeks and you, your weight doesn't budge. What starts to happen is your mind very quickly goes to this place of, oh, that's it. I'm never gonna be able to do that. Like I've already done this for two weeks and nothing's changed. So what's going to change over the next six weeks or eight weeks. Nothing nothing's going to change. I'm never going to get there. This is where we go. We immediately go to this place of my how didn't work. Therefore, this goal, this resolution is not achievable. That's a mindset issue. That's not a goal issue or a strategy to get their issue. Now for many of us and for many of my listeners, you guys out there that are listening to me. You know that I talk about the law of attraction and abundance and manifesting all the time. I talk about source energy and kind of coal conspiring with the universe. Or source or God or your higher power, whatever your belief system is to get you where you want to be. So the, you do part of it and sourced as part of it. Now as a therapist, one of the things that used to get written into treatment plans all the time was what I was going to do as a therapist and what my client was going to do as the client. Right? These are the skills that I'll teach. These are the practices. They will practice those skills. Now there is a, there's a necessity here that there's some, not just you working on. This thing. Right? So if you decided that you want to lose. 20 pounds in three months. And you hire a trainer. And a nutritionist. You've hired experts. You've brought in people to help you get there. If that is how you've gone through the process and they're creating plans for you and you're following. Step-by-step the plans that they've created. You're going to hit your goals, whatever the goals are. The same holds true. If you're wanting more financial freedom or independence this year. And so. You decide, you're going to ask your boss for a raise and you're going to really work hard to get those bonuses that they offer. And. You're like, okay. I have a plan. I have a path. This is how I'm going to get there. I know how I'm going to get there. I'm going to ask for the raise. I'm going to bust my ass to get my bonuses, and maybe I'll do this other little thing on the side, but we'll bring in more money. And then you go to your boss and you ask for a raise and they say, actually, we're going to have to do cutbacks. And we're going to have to lay you off. Where does your mind go? Are you like, oh, fuck. Like great. Here we go. Here we go again. Do you go to that place? Here we go again. Or do you go to the place of huh? I wonder what the opportunity is. That's going to show up. Because I'm doing everything that I need to do to move in the direction that I want to be moving in. When we start talking about utilizing energy and universal laws and source and all of that stuff to help us get where we want to be. We need to trust in this process. And we need to let go of the, how. The truth is. You might have what you deem the perfect, how. But it might not be your how. It might not be the thing that's going to work for. You. And when you attach. To a specific how you close yourself off to other opportunities. You close yourself off to other jobs. To promotions, to other strategies for weight loss. Two other opportunities for business success. So I'm an entrepreneur. And as an entrepreneur, if I believe that the only way. That I can be successful is if I. Work one-on-one in coaching with. 10 people a week. And I focus all of my energy on getting 10 clients a week to work with. And that's the way that I'm going to hit my six figures and I become attached to this idea. When someone shows up and says, Hey, I have this opportunity for you. To work with this organization doing this other thing. I'm not going to be open to it. I'm going to say no, no, no. I've got to do this over here. My way, the plan that I've executed. But what if. That person knocking on your door. Is source energy, trying to help you out. What if it's God or the universe saying, Hey, Here's another opportunity. Here's what you need to focus on. Here's a way to spread out the skills and the knowledge or for you to learn new things and embrace growth. When you get so wrapped up in knowing the perfect way to get there. You become the bottleneck you get in your own way. So, what do you do instead? So instead of being the bottleneck, instead of being the barrier to achieving the goals that you want to achieve in your new year, Here's what I'm going to ask you to do. You're going to set three goals now. Allow these goals to be broad. Allow them to encompass. Components in your life that. Feel like right now in this moment, feel aligned with the growth that you want to experience. In the next six months. And so you're going to set one personal goal. So that might be a goal around your health, around your diet, around exercise or weight management or physical, emotional, or spiritual health and wellbeing, personal goal about you. You're going to set one goal. That is relational. So that might be a goal that is related to your relationship with your partner. Maybe it's a goal related to your relationship with your kids or your parents your friends, your community. You choose. But one goal is based in relationships. And the third goal. Is just one. A goal around your job, your career, your business. Whatever you consider. Your. Quote, unquote. Career path right now. So for instance, if you're a stay-at-home mom and you've got three little kids, it would be a goal around that. If you are an entrepreneur. It would be go around that if you're a full-time college student with a part-time job, your goal might be around your education or your career path related to your schooling. Obviously, if it's a job or career path and you're in-bedded or entrenched in the business world, then OBA. Goal related to that. One goal each area. That's it. And then. I want you to fuck the how for now. That's right after the, how for now. Don't. Start thinking about how you're going to achieve the goal. Just want you to sit with for the next 24 hours. What it is you want to work towards in the next six months? Well, you would like to achieve how you would like to feel in that achievement. So it's not just I want to lose 20 pounds, but I want to feel confident in my own skin and losing 20 pounds would help me to do that. Okay. Does that make sense? So I want there to be a feeling component in it, an emotional component, because that is your driving force. That's what's going to get you to move forward towards this goal. And finally, I want you to catch yourself. So when you notice resistance arise oh, I can't do that. I've tried that in the past. That's never going to work or I'm not smart enough. Or I'm the only woman in a tech company and women never get promoted. I want you to just catch yourself when those thoughts arise. When that resistance shows up. I want you to call yourself out. I want you to just say to yourself, We're not going there. That's not necessary. The possibilities are endless. I am infinite potential, whatever. Statement. You want to replace that with, I want you to start seeing yourself. As capable, valuable. An infinite potential infinite possibility. And then. Your mantra or affirmation or statement or thing that you're just going to write down right now. And you're going to look at it over and over and over, over the next six months. Is the statement and you can change the words, but this is what I want the sentiment of the statement to be. I am open to all opportunities. To reach my goals. There is no right way. So here that again, I am open to all opportunities to reach my goals. There is no right way. There's a way that aligns with your values, your beliefs. Your experience what's important to you. That's all great. And I certainly would not want you to do something that is outside of. That. But I will warn you over the next couple of days. I'm going to ask you to get out of your comfort zone. So this is step one, letting go of attachment, practicing non-attachment to the, how. F the how for now. You don't need to know how you're going to get there. You need to know what you're going to work towards. Kind of why what's the emotional experience of working towards this thing? How are you going to feel when you get there? And you have to start calling yourself on. The stinking thinking, as they say. All right guys, get to work and I will see you tomorrow. Tomorrow. We're going to talk all about how are you going to make these mindset set shifts and what's up my favorite strategy. Forgetting to where you want to go. That's on tomorrow's episode. So tune in and as always, I appreciate the hell out of you. And I look forward to seeing you back here tomorrow. For more on your goals for 2023. Take care.