59: How to Lose Weight for the Last Time with Heather Awad, MD

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This week on the podcast, I sat down with family doctor and wellness coach for professionals, Heather Awad, MD. Heather helps busy female professionals lose weight for the last time through a proven method that includes inner work. 

Heather found a program shared over and over within the female physician community, but it’s a gem not often shared with the millions of other professional women who could use it. In it, she learned the root cause of her over desire for food and stopped thinking about food all day long. Inspired to share her own journey with others, Heather has created a program that leads to an even simpler, more low-maintenance eating plan so your CURRENT weight loss journey will be your LAST weight loss journey.

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device and post it to your Instagram Stories and tag us, @pamgodboiscoaching and @heatherawadmd 

In this episode you’ll hear:

• Heather shares how practicing medicine during the pandemic really opened her eyes to a growing need for wellness. 
• Heather always loved the opportunity to talk about wellness and health, but her role as a family doctor limited her time. 
• The busy chaotic role of a medical professional and caregiver, and the struggle to find the time for self. 
• Heather’s solution to finding time, and committing to action. 
• The underlying work of weight loss and health management. 
• What her clients are saying. 
• Heather shares about the peace of mind, and decrease in stress this model offers. 
• How this is the last time you will be on this weight loss journey? 
• The overall goal of health. 

LINKS:

Heather’s Website: https://www.vibrant-md.com/

Vibrant-MD Weightloss for Professional Women Course

Free Facebook Group For Moms: The Messy Truth: Moms on the Path of Rediscovery

Connect with me:  Instagram, Facebook, and Tiktok. 

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The best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is effectively regulate your nervous system. And a great place to start >> to wire the brain for gratitude. Research tells us that gratitude increases happiness and a peaceful mindset. Make the shift and watch how things in your life start to change. Sign up today! www.pamgodbois.com/gratitude

Transcript

Pam: 0:00

This week on the out of your mind podcast, I had the opportunity to sit down. With Heather Awad M Heather is a family doctor who coaches, professionals. To lose weight for the last time. And in today's episode, we dive into not just the work Heather is doing and her tips for you on your weight loss and wellness journey, but also explored why she's so passionate about this work. So let's dive in. Heather, thank you so much for being here. I appreciate your willingness to come on the podcast and share your story and give us some juicy information about the stuff that you're doing.

Heather: 1:26

Yeah. Thanks so much for having me. I'm thrilled to be here,

Pam: 1:29

so I would love you have a really fascinating journey. I was Pre researching you a little bit, looking at how you got to where you are. I would love for you to share with the audience, like your journey. What has that been like to get to where you are?

Heather: 1:42

Sure. I'm a family doctor in Minnesota and my training is family medicine. So I spent a lot of years in primary care and my real focus there was of lifestyle, eating healthy, exercising for joy and health and all this kind of stuff, as well as doing the sick care. And. It's hard to do in short visits, but that's what I was doing. And then I moved wanting a better lifestyle. Honestly. I moved to doing wound care. And that was rounding in nursing homes taking care of people with wounds. But that was. No nights, no call, no weekends. So I, that's really why I chose it. But one of the things I noticed as well was how much lifestyle impacts us at the end of life. Seeing people suffering with diabetes at the end of life. Did you ever see that movie, Wally? Yes. At the end where they're on that ship and everyone is just like on a floating chair with a sipping straw on them. I saw some of that in the nursing home and I thought, oh my gosh this dystopian Wally future. Some people are living that now. And so that, that really hit my heart a lot. And so I'm rounding in nursing homes during the alpha wave of Covid, which was. A big experience, let's just say it was a big experience. So I, we get vaccinated. It's like the biggest party of my life, that day and So then after that I thought, I just wanna think of more about what's possible for me. So I went and got some life coaching, and one of the things that I found out about myself through that was that, as a doctor you're. Your schedule is very demanding and the patients and the work come first. And then I also have four children and a spouse and being a natural caregiver, they were next in line. And I was pretty far down on the list. And one of the things I really learned through life coaching was to how to have my own back. How to, do things for myself and still care for everybody else. How to care for myself in a way that actually made me a better caregiver at work and at home. And the funny thing is that I had also been trying to lose 27 pounds off and on, up and down, and I understand the biology of how you lose weight, but all of a sudden learning how to just have my own back and keep commitments to myself and be a friend to myself, all of a sudden that. Fell off super easy. And so one of the things, I'd always had this kind of secret wish to have my own business. And when I did this life coaching, I thought I could have my own back, then I could have my own business. And because this mixture of seeing people who were suffering at the end of life due to you. Having too much weight on that wasn't healthy for them, and then losing weight super easily. I thought, oh, I wanna bring this to the world. And so now I coach busy professionals who are ready to make a big change and go for permanent weight loss.

Pam: 4:44

That's really cool. And I love that, that, I mean, it sounds like you're your theme in your medical practice. What you really wanted it to be. Although as a primary caregiver, you don't necessarily get to choose who you work with, right? You just get who shows up and needs a doctor. But that your, the lens at which you wanted to see the world and you wanted to be doing this work was through this lens of wellness and helping people understand that they have some agency, they have some control over their life. Yes. Yes. And the choices that we make matter.

Heather: 5:14

That was always my goal. Yeah. Really in starting there because I, some people don't know what to do and so I enjoy teaching that and some people just need permission to Yeah. Take care of themselves. So that was also my job,

Pam: 5:27

Yeah. It's crazy, you talk about working in a a nursing facility, end of life care type of stuff. Yeah. My dad passed a few years ago and diabetic. Ended up with liver disease, like all the things Right? Sure. And was an athlete as a young man and through high school and was always in great shape. And then, life, all the things, stress and really, I grew up in a household where We drank Diet Coke. That was like the thing, okay. Everybody drank Diet Coke. That was the time, right? Like the eighties. Everybody's drinking like, and diet coke, like you're feeding your seven year old's diet Coke. And we just talk about the things and the things that we consumed during that timeframe we had no idea about. It's like the whole idea of smokers not knowing, my, my parents smoked when they were young, not knowing that it was bad for you because we told them it was bad for them, and information is so powerful. Yes, but when you're 70 something years old, which was the case with my dad and now my mom it's my aunt said to me the other day, I think it's probably too late for me, she's 80, 80 something years old. I'm like, it's not too late for you.

Heather: 6:25

It's never too late. It's not. You'll feel better if you follow some lifestyle changes. Yes. Yeah. I mean, that's the good thing too, is that, some things might not change, but you'll probably feel better. And don't we all wanna feel better? Yes. Yeah. So what was the journey like for you? Cause you said you got a life coach, which is amazing. I think everybody should, I think we should all have a life coach. We should, yes. Stack life coaches so we can all have some of the, pushes us to move forward. Definitely. And in my experience myself and watching other people, and I know that's also not an easy path to just go oh, I can have my own back and I can start a business because I can have my own back. I'm guessing it was not that simple of a process for you. In some ways it was, and in some ways it wasn't. I think I hadn't realized, people tell you, we'll, do self care, go out and exercise. So I, I did that already off and on, if my kids didn't need extra time or if my work schedule wasn't terrible, but, like I said, all those things came first. But then just to have the idea in my head, I don't think I was waiting for someone to rescue me, but I was, I did have it in my head like, why is life so hard on me? And I felt like life was happening to me. and I got to the point where I thought, you know what? Actually, if I just. Start keeping small commitments to myself, then all of a sudden the whole world seems possible. So it really blossomed. Like you see those movies of a flower just opening up, those TimeLapse things. And I thought, and I felt like that. I was like, oh wait. If I just decide that tomorrow I'm not gonna be dehydrated, and then the next day I actually drink enough water, Flower bloom. All of a sudden I'm like, oh wait, I have my own back. I can do this. And so by changing small things that I wanted to change, I realized, oh, when you can make small things happen, you can make big things happen. Yeah. They're the same. They just, yeah.

Pam: 8:15

The consequence or the benefit just feels is, seems bigger when you make big things change versus small things change. Yes. Yeah. I love that. I love that idea too, of just something simple oh, for instance, I feel like. Huh. I wonder why. Oh, wait, I haven't drank any, drank enough water today. Or I had, I had this conversation with my mom, right? She was my mom. Block your ears if you're listening. But she was like, ended up in the ER not that long ago because she was dehydrated and she thought she was having she has digestive stuff and so she thought it was like some big thing going on and they're like, no, you dehydrate.

Heather: 8:49

With me rounding in the nursing homes. Yes. I'm a middle aged person who's at birth for children, so, I have to go to the bathroom a lot if I drink water and so I just wouldn't, and feel, I would feel terrible, but then I thought, eventually I noticed that if I drank enough water and if I just stopped and went to the bathroom, the day, still progressed on the work, still got done. Everyone was fine if I had to pee, once or twice during

9:13

the

Pam: 9:13

day. It was amazing. I was like,

Heather: 9:15

wow, this is. Groundbreaking isn't funny and if doctor listening knows that thing where people, where they were like, they don't want us to go to the bathroom at work. That's like A cultural thing. Yeah. So I just was like, actually if I just go in there and lock the door, I can go

Pam: 9:30

It's funny and work out. It's funny that you say that cuz. So I have a 13 year old daughter and she always tells me that she doesn't go to the bathroom at school. She says it's because the bathrooms are disgusting, which I get. Yeah. And there's drama and whatever, but I know that some of it. Them not really having, they don't have time between classes. She's in middle school and you go from here to here and if you need to go to the bathroom, you need to ask the teacher to go use the bathroom. Sure. And the teachers have actually said, if you could go some other time, like at lunch, that would be great. So we're like, and I'm like, how's your bladder infection? I say that to her all the time joking. How's your bladder infection She's I'm fine. I'm like, Uhhuh.

Heather: 10:05

Yeah, you, I. I had that too. And I said, make a goal this week that you used the bathroom once.

Pam: 10:13

one time just go, once she celebrates it, she comes home and she'll be like, I use the bathroom today. And I'm like, whoa, that's amazing. You must drink a lot of water over the last couple of days in a row, But it's funny how early that gets programmed into us. Yes. And then it's I can't stop, like I can't do something as simple as pause, whatever's going on around me and run to the bathroom.

Heather: 10:35

like your body needs don't count. They should be stuffed down and uni and thought of as unimportant. Which that's not service. Yeah. No. And it

Pam: 10:42

just breeds this, you said I'm a better caregiver, whether it's at home or at work. if I take care of myself and if the taking care of myself is I'm going to. Give myself permission to get up and go to the bathroom and I'm going to drink the water that I need so that I don't have a headache or feel like crap or whatever. Yeah. Then I mean, those two small things are huge from a

Heather: 11:03

health perspective, certainly. And picture the things that you do in your work. If I'm standing at the bedside of a patient and I have a headache cause I haven't drank enough water and my bladder is screaming, Why didn't you go to the bathroom before we came to this floor? That's very different than me standing with a patient and I'm not thinking about any of that stuff. Cause I just feel good and I can just focus on you and what's going on with your leg or whatever you need to talk about that day, so, but all of our work has that. We can have more focus and more creative ideas and better energy when we've taken care of our bodies. I

Pam: 11:40

love that. So the work that you're doing now what are you doing right now? What is the

Heather: 11:45

yeah. I have an online coaching program where people work with me for 12 weeks. There's also some coursework in there, so there are videos and things that people can interact with if they want. And we pretty much just go for, only for permanent weight loss. And I think that's what's unique about the program because. there are a lot of ways to lose weight, but if you wanna lose weight and have and be done, I teach people how to do that with the food they already like and we start talking about their maintenance plan on day one. Because if, I mean, a lot of people have lost weight and gained it back again. Cause when you get to the end, you're like, all right, I did that, but I don't wanna do that anymore. Whether it's calorie restricting or a really special diet or something really restrictive. And so we start what do you like to eat? I had talked to someone yesterday who said, oh my gosh, I get to eat hummus and fruit and I'm losing weight. And I'm like, of course, cuz if you wanna eat hummus and fruit your whole life, do that now. Or people who have I work with a lot of immigrant women, two who say I've looked at this, but they want me to eat a salad. And I eat, my mother-in-law makes our home country food when I come home from work. So of course you wanna eat that, right? So you want that to be part of your weight loss program because you're gonna wanna eat that when you're done losing weight too. So, and it just makes the whole thing so much smoother. You're done, you lose the weight and then you just keep going and it's beautiful. There's no big party at goal weight in my program, which I, maybe that doesn't sound fun, but pretty much people are like, oh yeah, I. Just keep going now.

Pam: 13:15

I love that. I'm thinking about the mindset of all of that, right? Yeah. This shift, this internal shift that occurs that I can be empowered and have agency to create wellness, long-term wellness in my own life. And of course you would if part of the inspiration for I wanna do this and help people came. Doing wound care at end of life. Of course you want people to be successful, ongoing, not cool. In 12 weeks I lost 30 pounds and now I'm gonna gain it back cuz it's the holidays or whatever, yeah. So that makes perfect sense. But can you talk a little bit to the. To the inner work, the mindset work and how what you're doing is different than that idea of let me go join some weight loss thing, or do keto, or whatever diet trend is going on right now, I don't even pay attention. Yeah. Can you talk a little bit about the shift in mindset? Yes.

Heather: 14:06

People have different things that they're dealing with. For some people it's eating out of frustration with their job or their family or difficult people in their lives. So we work on. Some people, it's perfectionism. You hear a lot of perfectionism and weight loss. Oh, I ate the wrong, the one wrong thing at that one meal. And so then I just, went crazy and ate a bunch of junk for the next week. And the, and letting go of that perfectionism helps a lot because of course you're gonna eat wrong sometimes, and. So letting go of some of that keeping commitments to yourself again. I tell, this is the simplest thing, but it's so big for some people. I tell them, okay, if you said you were gonna meet your friend for lunch on Saturday at noon, would you go? And they're like yeah, of course. And I'm like, also, you work, if you work at 9:00 AM on Tuesdays, do you show. And they look at me like, why are you saying that? Of course I do. And I say if you decided tomorrow that you were going to eat this lunch that you packed, then why wouldn't you do it? Why are you not as important as your friend or your job? If you wanna make a plan to do something tomorrow for yourself, for your body, then why? Why would you not do it?

Pam: 15:21

Yeah. Yeah. I love that

Heather: 15:24

that

Pam: 15:25

internal shift that has to happen, right? We start to have a conversation with ourselves. Like

Heather: 15:29

the other big thing I would tell you is that we don't do any willpower. There's no, there's so much like striving and, willpower and trying hard and, I picture people. You've got a craving for cookies and you're holding the pantry door shut, and it's just so hard. And some days you can do it, some days you can't. And some days you can do it in the morning, but not at night. And we don't do any of that in my program either. So what we, what I teach people to do is when they have a craving to invite it in and talk to it, why the cookies, is it that I'm just emotionally drained? Did I just have a fight with my kids, so I wanna eat cuz I'm upset, right? Is I can smell them. And then you just sit with it and say, yeah, I, if it's something about a fight with my kid, then I sit and I think about that, that fight instead of trying to buffer it away with food or stand there and resist food and all of a sudden it's not even about what it was about anymore. So just to allow the cravings and sit with them and be uncomfortable. Decide what is it? If I had a fight with my kid, this was, of course I've, have been raising teenagers. So there's a lot of that. And I stand in the, would stand in the pantry and say, what is this actually about? Oh, I'm mad cuz I said something I didn't wanna say during that fight. Or sometimes it's just oh, my cat is being a jerk today. Why do they have to be like this? Oh, I know they're probably gonna be fine tomorrow. Or. We've got something going on with sharing the cars and maybe that's something that I need to think for a creative solution and fix. See, there's all so many things that can happen about a fight with a kid. And I, and it used to just be standing there going, why do I wanna eat sugar cereal right now? And I mean, I made it about the food and it wasn't ever about the food.

Pam: 17:13

I feel like everything in life is like that, right? Like it's never about the thing. It's never about the food or the, even I've worked in addiction. I worked in addiction for a long time, and one of the docs that I worked with used to say, it's not about, somebody, an addict would come in and say, oh, I broke my leg, but I can't take painkillers. And he would say, you take painkillers. It's not about the painkillers, it's about your relationship to the painkiller. You need to know what's going on in your head and how you're, how are you creating the story around that? How are you creating the story around the cookies or the sugar cereal? And having that be the focus because you don't wanna exper, you don't wanna look at the distress that you're

Heather: 17:44

experiencing. Yeah. That's really true. I love that. I love that. I love that you're teaching that.

Pam: 17:51

It's needed. That's the fun part. That really is the fun part. Yeah.

Heather: 17:54

Is watching people kinda examine their own thoughts and then free themselves from their own thoughts and stories.

Pam: 18:01

Yeah, and that's what I was gonna ask what's your favorite part of the work that you're doing now as opposed to what you were doing previously?

Heather: 18:08

It really is watching women free their own minds. I have this one client who. Had this issue with one person in her family. And so we talked about that and then she's okay, next we're gonna talk about the tennis group and the scheduling. Next we're gonna talk about going to the cabin with the extended family. Next we're gonna talk about, and just of going through all these groups of people that had been just causing her some distress that that she had used food to heal that wasn't really healing it, just holding it down. And continuing on. And it's just been fun to watch her. Some people are like, okay, I just need to talk about that. And then all the people are good and some, and, but many people are like, okay, each one is a little different. Yeah, let's look at my thoughts about each of these situations and and then have them just be freed from stuff that was bothering them quite a. our families and our friends cause us can cause us quite a bit of distress. Yeah. That's totally normal and human. So, it's nice to help people look at that stuff because it's still gonna happen. You're, your rude cousin is still gonna be rude, even after you've not, decided to not go and eat off, the distress you have from having to have a holiday with them, but to be able to accept that your cousin is gonna be rude at Thanksgiving and it doesn't mean that you have to eat extra rolls to make it better

Pam: 19:29

Yeah. Just the understanding, being able to look at, and it's always, it's so funny, I always say, have always said as a therapist that people will say to me, do you do relationship counseling? And I'm like, isn't everything a relat? Relationship itself, relationship with food, relationship with money, relationship with, your mom, your dad, your kids, your whatever. Like everything in our, your job, we have relationships with everything. And so when we start to get really clear that oh this thing that I have going on with food is relational. There's a relationship with food, but there's also a

Heather: 19:58

relationship. Other relationships that are putting stress, just like

Pam: 20:02

everything. Cause I'm sure we've all been in a place where we've been stressed and overwhelmed and we yell at the person that's closest to us. In my case, especially my husband, I'm like, oh, sorry. Thanks for being so great. I mean, it's the same idea, right? I mean, that's essentially what you're talking about. It's that same like transference of aggravation, frustration, overwhelm, stress that gets transferred onto the relationship with.

Heather: 20:25

And you hear it in people who are overs, spenders, over drinkers, all sorts of things. People who can't get off their social media, scroll and yeah. It's all a lot of buffering and it's very socially acceptable. That's the other thing I would say is that sometimes we, I think it helps too to just look at what is socially acceptable and do we want it to be that way? I get people who tell me of course you have to eat while you watch TV at night, and if they're our age, I say when you were a little kid and you sat and watched tv, did you eat? And they're like no, nobody did that then. And I'm like, okay. So it's possible to watch and not eat up a whole bag of chips, or a bowl of nuts or whatever it is. It doesn't even have to be unhealthy. But looking at those things and saying I'm gonna choose. what I'm gonna choose. And some people still choose I wanna have this thing when I watch tv. Okay. And some people say I didn't actually notice that. That doesn't have to be normal for me, and I still wanna watch my show. And I have decided I, I am choosing that. I don't wanna snack while I watch tv. So it's a lot making intentional choices and. That also is like a thing where people are like, wow, I really like my life cuz I'm like choosing things and it opens open some doors for people Yeah, for sure.

Pam: 21:49

For sure. I love that. So were there things other than I wanna start my own business? Like you said you went to life coaching yourself, you were like, Hey, if I can have my own back, I can do this, start my own business thing. What made you choose doing this work when you're talking about healthy lifestyle, there's lots of things you can help people with. What made you choose the path that

Heather: 22:08

you're on now? I think the thing is that there's so much weight loss where people lose weight, but then they don't maintain. A lot of people have lost weight many times, and there's so many ways to actually lose weight. But I wanted to help people have a new lifestyle that they could, slowly change and incrementally, turn into a new path. I mean, that's what I tell people. I'm like, you're, we gotta find the lane that you really love. Let's choose a lane that you really love and. That's the thing is I want people to be able to have health benefits that go on, we don't even, like exercising isn't proven to help with weight loss. We don't even talk about that. If they're with 12, it's 12 weeks. At week eight we start talking about exercise cuz it is proven to maintain weight loss. And also I'm a family doctor, so I, want people to. Their bodies cuz you're meant to move and your mental health and your heart and your lungs and so many things are better when you exercise. So we start talking then about, what would you like to do? What would you love to do? Is there something that you gave up that maybe could go back to or something new to try? There's just so much more happiness with this kind of, it's a wellness path, but people come to me because they wanna lose weight. They want it to be simple. They want it to go, at a regular. And they are intrigued by the idea of having it permanent, but really, we go into whole wellness thing. Yeah. I'm hearing that more and more interestingly enough

Pam: 23:37

that whatever the work is, in your case, what you're talking about is sustained weight loss, or you're like, you're losing weight, you're doing it once, and you get to live a healthy lifestyle. Healthy active lifestyle. That's what you. Ongoing until you're in your eighties or nineties or however long you're on this planet, right? And so, but there are so many people that I've talked to on the podcast in particular, who start telling me about the work that they're doing that is specific to something. And really it's about doing our own internal work, changing our stories, changing our relationships, making the shift so that we can have overall wellness, physical, emotional, spiritual, soul wellness. And it's amazing because it's so what we need as a culture, our culture in particular, but lots

Heather: 24:23

of

Pam: 24:23

cultures, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I love the, I love this idea that you're handing them not just the tools, but you're just empowering'em, saying like, it's all a choice. You get to decide, do you wanna be here, do you wanna be there? Where do you wanna get to? What do you want it to look like? How do you wanna think about it? How do you wanna feel about. And I love this infusion of fun that you're talking about.

Heather: 24:45

Yes. Because there's a lot of a lot of misery, especially in weight loss, We all, thankfully people are talking about diet, culture and all the misery in it and the shaming and all this. And I, I meet people and they get that stricken look when I tell my weight loss coach, and I'm like, it's about setting goals and people that wanna meet a goal. It's not, I don't think everybody needs to lose weight. But there's a lot of misery there, and I, yeah, I'd like. Try to alleviate some of that as well, so that people feel good. And pretty much people in my program, even someone will say I lo, someone will email me who's already lost weight with me and say, I gained five pounds, but I just want you to know I'm not worried because I know how to lose weight. So I had a weird couple of weeks, some of the way it came back on and it's fine. I just want you to know I'm fine. And they are, because. They don't make it mean that they're a failure. They don't mean, they don't make it mean that, something catastrophic has happened. They don't make it mean that something new is wrong with their body. They just are like, oh, I can see for a couple weeks there I was whatever it was, and they're like, I just, go back to eating the way I like and I know it'll just come

Pam: 25:53

off right. Again, mother of a 13 year old girl, right? How when you start, when we start looking at our own work, our own individual work, and in the work that you're doing, you're helping people change their relationship to food and stress and how they manage and not numbing, and not stuffing down all the things that cause the turmoils to arise and conflictual food relationships to develop. How do we take that? and help because I'm most of us women, whether we have children or not. Yeah. We're like nurtured in our culture to be caregivers, right? Yes. Yes. That's why we work in these like caregiving professions. So how do we take our own work that we've done and help to. Pay that forward essentially without having to go out and start a program or whatever. Cuz one of the things that you said was, when I take care of myself and do this and feel good, it impacts all the other pieces. So is there a way that we can consciously utilize that work to impact our kids, our community, our whoever else? What are your thoughts?

Heather: 27:04

I think about it like we had a preschool teacher when my kids were little who said, catch them being good. If they did something helpful, like they. Unloaded the silverware like they were supposed to out of the dishwasher then, appreciate that. Or they did something nice for their sibling, which, doesn't always happen. appreciate that. And so I try to do that with self care now. My kid will, I had my, one of, there's a. A terrible virus going around our community, which isn't Covid, but is like a terrible cough and feel rotten thing. And one of my kids who has a full-time job said, I took a. I took a day off of work because I didn't feel well. And so, I just try to applaud all those things. Anytime I see them having their own back, I'm like, oh, I'm so glad you took a day off to rest. Sometimes people forget to do that. That's amazing that you did that, or, Anytime they have their own back where they're like I was gonna do this, but I decided I, I need, sometimes it is rest, I decided I need to rest. Or they'll say something like, I, I've been staying up a lot, late, a lot lately, and I'm thinking I should go back to my regular bedtime and they're, teens and 20, so I don't give them a bedtime anymore. And I just say, wow, I'm so glad you noticed that. What was, how did. How did that come up for you? Tell me more about that. And I just get real curious so they can examine it too. Cause I could say, oh yes, regular sleep is important, and that doesn't help in the same way. No. So try to catch them having their own back. Even like with a, they've lost a friend and how do you feel about that? This person really hasn't been nice over the past year. And I say, wow, that's, that was really big that. Letting that go, because we have people in our lives like that. And sometimes it is important to let people go and yeah,

Pam: 28:51

Yeah. We all end up with people in our lives like that throughout different stages. Whether you're a kid, you have an elementary school kid or a middle school kid, or you have teenagers or young adults as children or just ourselves. We end up, we look around and we go, what friends with that person? They don't treat me very well. What am I doing? Yes. Yeah. It's

Heather: 29:07

important to examine that stuff and setting boundaries with people that we're stuck with. But just, it sounds silly, but catch them, catch your kid. taking care of themselves. And point it out and praise it. Cause they, what we say does matter to them. Yep. And especially when we notice, it's, so, it's especially helpful to notice things where they're taking care of themselves.

Pam: 29:27

Yeah. And it sounds like a component of that, like the pre-step to that. The step one is you gotta model taking care of yourself. Yes. In order for them to be like you've gotta say, oh, I'm not feeling. I'm gonna take the day and take care of myself In order for your child to say, oh, hey, I'm not feeling great. So I decided to call in and take the day to get some rest or take care of myself so that I can help with my immune system or whatever the thing is,

Heather: 29:52

right? Yeah. And sometimes the part that I have personally found difficult is like sometimes I get disorganized and my kid will be off from school and I'll be like, oh wait, you're off tomorrow. Yeah, I'm off. And. Then I look at my schedule and I think I still need to go do my workout that I would normally do on a Monday. And not just ch change it and hang out because I'm just the mom and I need to be there for every moment, and I'll look in, I'll say, oh, actually, I'm free for lunch. Should we go out for lunch? Or do you wanna go walking in the afternoon? But I've got this thing, I've got my exercise class at 10:00 AM and I'm gonna go to that Or at night or whatever, whenever it is, to model doing. Things that are good for us,

Pam: 30:36

And not just, we think, we always think about I'm doing good for for instance, if your kid is home from school and you normally go to a yoga class and you're like, I'm not gonna go cuz my kid's home. And obviously if you have a five year old, you're not gonna leave your five year old home alone. Yeah. But if you've got a, I've got a 13 and a half year old, you've got teenagers and you, it's not like they can be left to do their own thing. And so not proposing anybody who's leaving their five year old home But when you. You're like, I normally go to yoga, and then you're like, oh, I didn't realize you were off. When you say to them, it's fine, I'll miss my thing for you. We think I'm doing well for my child because I'm putting them first. But really what you're teaching them is that they don't have to do for themselves. Yeah. They should do for other people instead.

Heather: 31:20

Yeah. That's how we all ended up here, isn't it? It's that Yeah. Yeah. Because we don't hope that our kid will, put everything down for their kids and not take care of themselves. That's not our, that's not our goal for them, so. We have to model it. Cause kids do, they will listen to what we say, but they will follow our example better or worse,

Pam: 31:41

I say that all the time. I say that whole do it. As I say, not as I do, doesn't. Because they rely on you. They're like, okay, you're saying that, but what are you doing? Let me see.

Heather: 31:51

And I like to, it sounds silly, it kinda like a silly thing to say, but I love vegetables and I love to eat salad in the summer. And one of my kids learned to like vegetables, hated salad, calls it wet lettuce, and then. Recently ate a salad and said, it wasn't that bad and you guys all like salad in the summer. So I thought I'd try it again. And I thought, wow, this nothing special about salad. But just seeing that we, that everyone else does this, they were like, they had in their head that at some point in time I might be able to eat more vegetables and possibly salad And now they do, It's an example. It just, it really makes a difference. Yeah,

Pam: 32:36

totally. It, totally, yeah. I mean, I love that I, that the peer pressure works in every direction, right? So whether it's eating, oh, I'm eating healthier and I'm making positive choices, or if you're hanging out with people that are. Every night after work going for beers, beer and wings, Yeah. And you're like, that makes me feel like crap. Like I have a, so I say stuff like that. I have a gluten allergy, so if I go for beer and wings, I'm probably gonna die It will be miserable. There's no good, there's nothing good about that for me. So, but being able to like, recognize that, who the type of people you surround yourself with. Yeah, their goals, what they're working towards and what they want for themselves and how they wanna feel is impactful as well. Definitely. Most definitely. Yeah. So is the program that you're offering right now, is it like a, is it a group coaching? Is it like a community that works together? Are they working with you? I know you said there's content and information. Are they working, doing that and working through it with you one on

Heather: 33:32

one or what is that? Yes, they work with me. They do a weekly half hour coaching with me. Okay. And then we have group coaching kind of seasonally basically because like in December, nobody used to come because they're busy with their holiday stuff, so we don't do it then. But we did it all of November. We do it, we'll do it January, February and at least part of March. We'll take a couple weeks off, but people do like the group coaching cause they get to talk to each other. Yeah. And just hearing other people normalize. A difficult person, that pushes food on them or talking about, some issue with a certain food group that's bothering them or some of those lifestyle things. Normalizing the stumbles because I mean, I can tell them. I go in the, I still find myself sometimes standing in the pantry, like with my hand up toward the cereal thinking, why am I, how'd I get here? But it's helpful that, then they have, a whole group of people saying, oh yeah, I, I don't know why this happened, but I was in the nut cupboard again and holding the bag of pecans, and. Wasn't hungry So it just, the group thing is fun and people really love it.

Pam: 34:35

Yeah. And that goes back to that idea of like when you surround yourself with people that have similar goals that are moving in the same kind of direction as you, that we're just, we're social.

Heather: 34:45

We're social creatures.

Pam: 34:47

We are. So being able to. Tap into a community, even if you're not staying within this community forever. I'm sure that there are people that make connections that then stay connected. They become friends on Facebook, they follow each other on Instagram or whatever, right? So that they can continue to come back to these these tethers of this community that kind of helps them on their journey.

Heather: 35:08

Definitely. Yeah. I love that. I love

Pam: 35:10

that. So where are you hanging out these days? If people wanna find you, wanna learn more about what you're doing? Wanna hear you chatting? Yeah,

Heather: 35:20

I do a podcast, so Vibrant MD podcast, so people wanna hear me talk. I, they're short, they're, definitely under a half hour. Most of them are around 15 minutes. And I just talk. Usually I'm just answering questions that people gave me about weight loss or things that my clients have asked. So I address those things there. I'm also on Instagram, ed, Heather, aba, md more of the same stuff there. If you go to my website, vibrant md.com, you can actually book a call and we can. About it. Because sometimes people think I'd like to work with her, but I'm not sure if this would work for me cuz they, everyone has their special situation. I have had people that we talked and said, this is not, this would not be a good program for you or this is not a good time for you. I've even talked to people and said, this is not a good time for you to lose weight So, I'm happy to talk to people on the phone as well. That's great. So that's there as well.

Pam: 36:14

That's great. So if you had one tip, like one. Piece of advice for people to get started in their own wellness journey, whether that's weight loss or some other aspect of their their physical health and wellbeing. What would be your, what would be your tip for getting

Heather: 36:29

started? I would say is pick something that you wanna do and make it small. and start doing that. Start changing that habit, whether it's I wanna start bringing my lunch to work, or I wanna sleep enough or drink enough water, or, I wanna start working out. So maybe I'm just going to take a walk at lunchtime to start, something really small that seems super doable because you, what you wanna do is catch a win. So really small. And then when you get that win, celebrate. More than it you think it deserves. I have I'll write down what I'm gonna, if I'm trying to lose weight or when I was, I would write down what I was gonna eat the next day and I hadn't even done it yet. know, I hadn't even eaten it or stuck to the plan yet. And I would just be like, I wrote it down and I do, like the happy dance, right? You or the big fist bump. Yes. Yes. And that changes your brain chemistry, your brain love. Celebration. So it's oh wait, maybe we should write that down again tomorrow, because that was super fun. It's a brain hack. Totally. But just do those things and then also when you mess it up, don't beat yourself up about it. Just start again. Then, just be like I didn't, I got too busy and I didn't write my plan for tomorrow. And then I, the next day I say, I think I'll write down my plan for tomorrow now. Just feels better. It feels better when I write down my plan, so I think I'll do that. Yeah. Just it's a compassionate perseverance. You're gonna mess it up. Of course you will. You're a human being and you have a life. I mean, I work with people who are like you, they've got families, they've got jobs. Some of them have amazing hobbies or travel. Of course, you're gonna mess it up. It's fine. Just, just if you mess it up one day, do it the way you wanted it the next day.

Pam: 38:16

I love that. Also, just stepping into it with this idea that yeah, you gotta mess it up. It's like getting on a bike, riding a bike the first time. You're not gonna master. You're gonna have you're gonna fall, you're gonna like maybe get

Heather: 38:26

nervous, you're gonna whatever the

Pam: 38:27

thing is that whatever happens and go ahead. No, I was just gonna say, and it doesn't matter how long you've been riding, because there's still you can still hit a root and fall. You can still like, yeah.

Heather: 38:38

And when you see a kid fall over, like you see a kid who's trying to learn a bike, you can always tell, cause the parent's standing there around and you see a kid riding a bike and then when they fall, you don't go. Kid sucks at bike riding

Pam: 38:50

You never, you suck. Yeah, no Because

Heather: 38:54

of course you know we're gonna fall sometimes even when you, even if I fall on my bike, I'm like, oh man, there was a route in the thing and I'm not blaming the route and I'm not mean to myself. I'm like, whoa, I almost fell over there. Oh, okay. Keep going.

Pam: 39:08

It's fine.

Heather: 39:09

I

Pam: 39:09

love that. The attitude is everything in this in this journey. It is of, it is, I mean, in this case weight loss, but it really, in anything, it's our attitude. It's our mindset. It's our, what's going on in

Heather: 39:17

the inside that matters so much. Yeah. I really love that. I love that.

Pam: 39:21

Heather, thank you so much for being here. This has been amazing. I will link up all your contact information in the show notes so that people can track you down easily.

Heather: 39:28

Thanks, and it's been so nice to talk about this with you. Yeah,

Pam: 39:31

it's been great. I appreciate it. And guys, if you have, if there's anything in this episode that really stood out for you or anything you wanna comment on please share that with us. You can contact both of us by our dms and Instagram. So thank you guys. I appreciate the hell out of you, and I look forward to seeing you guys again next week. Take care.